One thing I’ve noticed about living alone and being single is that holidays tend to sneak up on you. You’re chugging along, living life, and then one of your co-workers or an acquaintance asks you “Do you have any plans for xxx holiday?” and you’re like “Oh, um, no” or “I don’t know, probably just going to chill and enjoy the time off.”, I know there isn’t time off for Valentine’s Day, but you get what I mean. But I am starting to think that doing stuff for yourself on holidays is really important. Maybe it’s just marking the passage of time, but I don’t want to wait to have someone with me to do things, and that includes holidays.
I think we have gotten past the time when girls doing stuff on Valentine’s Day for themselves or their friends is considered sad or weird. That feels very early 2000s romcom to judge or care about what girls do when they are single. But it still also feels a bit daunting as you approach Valentine’s Day and you realize that you are single, again, for the seventh (just me?) year in a row and social media is hearts and pink and roses and suddenly you’re considering downloading dating apps for the 48th time only to delete it again in 3 weeks. So I think the rise in Galentine’s Days, single girl’s plans, etc. makes a lot of sense.
Organize a Galentine’s Day
Gather your single friends, the girls, gays, and theys (I guess you could invite straight, cis, men if you want, but I wouldn’t, some things just aren’t for them) and have a night (in or out) where you just hang out together. I think a slumber party theme sounds really adorable for this. Everyone wears their pyjamas, or comfy clothes, you do face masks, eat pizza and chips, and watch a movie (maybe one from this list?).
A fancy dress party also seems super fun for this, the opportunities to get super dressed up as an adult are limited, so put on your best clothes, drink champagne, plan a game, or go out dancing.
Celebrate your friendships, they’re with you longer than many romantic relationships are.
Date Yourself
Depending on your comfort level, you could either take yourself out or spend the night in.
Day Date
This would be my ideal version, if you don’t like one of these activities, sub in your favourite thing to do. I would sleep in, take my time getting ready (take THE shower, you know hair wash, shave, exfoliate, the whole thing), and then go out for breakfast with a book. Order pancakes and multiple fancy coffees and sit there with your book for at least an hour. Then go to a book store (ideally a small business book store) and buy a couple new books. And then wander up and down the street of this town with the small business bookstore and pop into any shops that pique my interest. Get lunch at a cute café and either continue reading my breakfast book or start a new one. Have a drink with lunch. Walk around for a bit more after and then head home.
Evening Date
This would be where I’m more likely to stay in, but if I were to go out:
Get ready, but I probably wouldn’t get really dressed up. I would likely be a bit insecure about drawing more attention to myself, but if you want to go all out, do it. I would go to a decent restaurant on my own, but not somewhere super fancy, ideally I would sit at the bar because the bartender will talk to you, so you feel less alone, but I would also bring my book.
Then I would either go to the movies (this is why I wouldn’t get too dressed up), or I would have tried to find a comedy show, small concert, live podcast, something like that to go to after. In case you can’t tell, this works better if you live in a city and not a teeny-tiny isolated town like I currently do.
And if I were staying in:
So this would be where I would want to lean in to the romanticize your life idea, buy yourself flowers (they can be from the grocery store), buy a cute silk pyjama set or cute matching sweat set (or wear one you already have), but don’t just wear your normal lounge around weekend clothes, make it nice. Then I would order take out or plan to cook a really nice dinner for myself, something more elaborate than what I normally cook, with dessert and wine. I would have a line up of movies to watch and don’t go on social media. Especially if you are consuming alcohol, this is not the night to be scrolling and watching your coupled up friends on their dates and opening their presents. Tonight is for only thinking about yourself.
Then take your time and really do your skin care and take yourself to bed, if you catch my vibe.
Buy yourself flowers
I know I just said this in the date yourself section, but if you aren’t going to do all of that, buy yourself some flowers. It’s February and in the Northern Hemisphere that means it’s dark and cold, brighten up your apartment with some flowers.
Buy yourself a present
*If you can afford it*. If you have a bit of money saved up or some extra wiggle room in your budget in February and have been looking for an excuse to buy yourself something, take Valentine’s Day as the excuse. Make it something you have been thinking about for a long time, or something that will improve your quality of life, it could be as little as a new lip balm or a new coffee machine, or a bag or shoes. Whatever you can afford that you’ve been dreaming about.
Avoid scrolling social
I know I also said this on the date post, but if you are feeling vulnerable or insecure about being single on Valentine’s Day, then don’t go scrolling. And if you do, remember that our social feeds are highly curated. That couple fawning over each other on the holiday could have had a huge fight the day before, or they might not be enjoying their relationship. Or they could be so in love. You do not know from looking at a TikTok or Insta post, don’t make yourself feel bad over someone else’s highlight reel.
And the longer the caption, the worse the relationship.
Ignore the day
If all of this sounds disgusting to you or you literally do not care about Valentine’s Day, partner or no partner, then treat it like any other Monday. Go to work, follow your routine, life your life, do whatever you normally do on a Monday. Except maybe consider masturbating a couple times, for health reasons.
Splurge on a fancy workout class
*If you can afford it and are able*. Working out can be painful, but today is about showing yourself love, and working out is about showing your physical self love. Think about your favourite workout class and if you can go in person and your pandemic comfort level is there, go in person, if not look into a virtual class. I’d recommend an Aubre Winters barre class, but if you hate barre, look for what you like.
Tell yourself you love you
Okay, this is the hardest one on this list. And it seems like it wouldn’t be. But go to the mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say “Hi best friend, I love you, you are doing a good job” and compliment yourself. It doesn’t have to be a physical compliment if you aren’t there, but give yourself a compliment, and don’t break eye contact.
Then go follow Serena Kerrigan on Instagram.
Love you babe,
Laura
Thoughtful Millennial 