While on holiday, I went out with my cousins, and for the two of the three that were there and now married, their wives. And when I was explaining what I do, what I did during the pandemic and such the topic of my thoughts on the vaccine got asked about. I have pretty neutral answers as I didn’t want to stir the pot but at the end I said “you know I trust farmers when it comes to my food, I trust pilots when it comes to flying, I’m not a virologist, I don’t make vaccines, and I choose to trust the people that do”. I got the feeling that she wanted a stronger response than that and while I am vehemently pro-vaccine I didn’t want to get into it. But since then I’ve been thinking about trust.

I want to live in a world where I believe in our food system (and I do), and I trust my doctors, and I can trust that the secrets our countries’ leaders keep are for our safety and well-being because we don’t need to know about every single threat, every single panic, it’s their job to shield us from those things. And maybe it’s dangerously naïve to say this, but I don’t want to believe in conspiracy theories. I don’t want to question everything, I want to hear a scientist say “the earth is warming and we have to change our habits” and respond with “well they know much more about the climate and the planet than I do, so I will listen to them”. Or listen to a physician or a virologist or a microbiologist when they say “we have made this vaccine, it could stop disease, or it may just prevent dying from the disease, but either way it will help keep you safe” and then go get the vaccine. I want to believe that we landed on the moon.

One of my favorite influencers has a saying “Strong opinions, loosely held” (Christina Najjar aka Tinx). Meaning she believes what she believes until new evidence comes along and changes her mind. And that’s the way I want to live my life. I take what I currently now, plus what people who are experts in their fields say and out those things together and believe that. I like believing that people are good and want to help each other. And frankly, I don’t have the time or energy to do all my own research. I also just don’t want to, that’s why we have experts. They want to, dedicate the time to, and have trained to do the research and can I really do better with a quick google search? It’s hubris to think so.

And I understand that there is such a thing as a healthy dose of skepticism, but I spent a lot of time the past couple years being cynical about everything. Nearly to the point of Nihilism, and it wasn’t fun, and I don’t think it made me pleasant to be around. And I’m sure it’s a cycle, right now I am in a the wanting to believe and trust, and at some point I will loop around to being much less trusting and more cynical.

Maybe it’s the holiday.

Laura