I don’t even know how to start this. I have been struggling so much with keeping up with this, with having creativity to write posts that are interesting, inspiring (blech), and just not part of my normal routine posts/copying someone else (although to be honest I haven’t even had the energy to do that). I’m also really struggling with finding time for this, but more on that in a second. A lot of my posts lately have started with “I don’t know how to start this”. As did this one, and that’s just boring.

Earlier today (June 21, for you, dear reader), I was listening to the latest Retail Therapy pod. In it, the hosts sharing their updated in/out list for mid-way through 2023, and one of the hosts, Barret, shared that one of his “ins” is “keeping plans”. And he, of course, went into more detail on it than that and I found myself really relating to it. 2023 is the first year since 2020 that I feel “normal”. I feel like I have shaken off my post-pandemic social awkwardness. Especially in 2021 I was so desperately lonely. I had just moved to this teeny, tiny town, nearly 2000 kilometres from anyone I knew. I was thinking I was moving out of lockdown into a “yellow” zone, which was like things were open, but you couldn’t eat inside, and so I was hoping that I would get to meet people. Then at midnight the day I got here, this region went back into their first lockdown. When I finally did get to meet people I am positive, I am so absolutely certain I would stake my entire year’s salary on it, that I was super annoying. I could not shut up, I was annoyed with myself, I was never asking other people questions, I became a terrible listener. And looking back on it, it makes total sense, I would go days without talking to anyone but my cat. Some days I would realize how long it had been since I talked and I would just say “hello” out loud to my empty apartment to make sure my voice still worked. And I finally feel like I have shaken off that energy. I am back to being a good listener, I don’t have to talk constantly, because I am having regular conversations. I am also enjoying my alone time again, because it is in balance with my social life.

Which takes me back to the original point of that paragraph. I am (kind of) in my year of saying yes. When plans come up, I take them, I jump at them. Party? Can I bring anything? Dance? I can host the pre! You’re getting married? [checks RSVP yes and books flight]. My bank account is suffering, but I am having a great time. However, I literally started writing this post at 9:44pm on the day before it is supposed to go live. I’m barely able to keep up with chores, to the point that I resorted to making TikToks to get myself to clean in the evenings after work. The influencer Tinx is correct “having fun is so fun” and I am not stopping anytime soon (I will be slowing down a bit in August however, I have to).

Additionally, work has been getting really intense. Which I am grateful for, because I was not feeling stimulated, productive, or like I knew what I was doing or supposed to be doing at all and that has totally changed. And it had to, because it was very much “stop, you’re losing me” (Taylor Swift, You’re Losing Me, 2023). And then just life. I get home from work, take my shoes off, and flip my little pomodoro timer for 30 minutes, and get changed into “old clothes” and then take the rest of the half hour to watch TikToks (I know I could cut this out, but it lets me turn my brain off for a bit). Then I get up, clean the cat’s box, take out the trash, vacuum, do my workout, feed the cat, make dinner, wash dishes and clean the kitchen, do any other chore I need to do, do my duolingo and skincare and then it is 10pm and I just don’t understand where the evening goes, or how it felt like I had so much more time in the winter? Maybe because it gets dark earlier? But the days are just absolutely flying and I don’t feel like I am getting everything I need to done each day, including this.

This has nothing to do with the post, it just made me laugh because they are truly everywhere.

Upcoming I am going to see Taylor Swift in Minneapolis this weekend, then in July I am going to Phoenix, New York City, and to the UK to see family and go to events and weddings. Then in August I am going to Toronto for a wedding, then in September I am going to cottage country for my sister’s wedding, and then hopefully staying down there for a couple weeks to hang out with family and go to a friend’s wedding in Cambridge and hopefully take care of some volunteering stuff/see friends. So the plans are not slowing down anytime soon.

So yeah, that’s the rant/explanation of why I’m averaging less than 50% on my blog posts this month, and have been flagging since May. I am so grateful to be back to life again, to “have a life” again. But I’m struggling to keep up with all the little routines I established during the pandemic, that also brought me joy.

Thanks, for reading,

Laura